The Congenial Male pt. 1

What is a Congenial Male anyway? Well the best definition is: A man that people want to be around. Now some guys have an entourage of friends that surround them at all times – their “posse,” but what about the people that don’t run around in your circle of friends.

    When we venture out into public, and into the view of others, what do people see? Being a Lyft driver for a few years, I saw many guys that put themselves out there, without much thought of how they appeared to others. I picked up many of the same guys later – still alone.

    It is sad but true, you are judged first by your appearance. Let’s look at how a girl goes out into public versus a guy. A girl always is aware of how she looks (yes this is a generialization). First she’ll take a shower, shampoo and condition her hair. When she gets out,  she will apply lotion or baby oil to her body to make it soft and silky; then she will choose her clothes from her underwear to her jacket. She will spend considerable time on her hair, using several products to get it to the right condition. She will put on makeup, and create the look that she is proud of. Then she will get dressed, use deodorant and lastly perfume, but not too much. This very well might take her a couple of hours if not more. 

    Let’s look at how a guy (another generialization) goes into public. First he gets out of bed, he smells himself to see if he needs a shower, decides against it and puts on some deodorant. Then brushes his teeth (maybe). He looks for a shirt, but the shirt he wants is in the laundry – he smells it, it seems fine – so he puts it on. He does the same with the jeans and socks. Dawning a comfortable pair of shoes, he runs his hands through his hair and five minutes later, he is out the door.

    In this example, most people will want to be around the girl, but not so for the guy, why? Because of attitude. She prepares herself, she is aware of what she looks like and she wants to dictate how people perceive her. The guy – on the other hand – Just wants to get out there, he doesn’t consider how everyone perceives him, because his attitude is; well this works for me. 

Photo by Gustavo Fring on

    To be a man that people want to be around, you have to have the right attitude. If you want to be noticed – in the right way – you need to put some effort into how you present yourself. Think of it this way: Let’s say that you are going to a car lot, you are going to purchase a brand new car, but when you get to the car lot, and all the cars are dirty, covered with mud, the inside smells like unwashed feet. Chances are you would not purchase a car from that lot. 

    Like it or not we make judgements on what we see, from items at the grocery store to people at the club. If we don’t like what we see, we move on – sometimes unconsciously. Make sure no one moves on past you.  

4 thoughts on “The Congenial Male pt. 1

  1. I hear you. The old saying you can’t judge a book by it’s cover is true but unfortunately people don’t stick around long enough to read the first chapter let alone the whole book. Ever feel like we have to be walking billboards of ourselves?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. First, let me say thank you for the comment – you are the first person to ever comment on my blog… You are number 1!
      Second, Yes I feel that if we were walking billboard people would understand us better, but some people don’t even have enough attention span to read a billboard!


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