Congenial Male Pt. 2

    In my last post, I showed an example of how a girl gets ready versus a guy – yes they were very generalized, but they were examples. Now we are going to look at why a guy is not approachable. Being approachable is paramount to creating that relationship.

    Now let’s say that same guy from the first post got his stuff together. He wakes up, takes a shower, brushes his teeth, cleans under his fingernails, puts on a fresh shirt and clean jeans, socks and nice shoes. He puts on deodorant and styles his hair and uses a small amount of cologne. Dawning a jacket, he exits his place and heads downtown. 

    He makes it to the club, there are a lot of people in the club, so he goes to the bar and orders a beer. He stands at a standup table, and scans the room. He makes eye contact with a couple of girls, but they break eye contact almost immediately. He approaches one of the girls, but she doesn’t seem interested. He goes home alone – but why?

Photo by Ali Madad Sakhirani on

As I said in the previous post, we are all judged on what we look like. We are our own advertising. He got the clothes correct, but he never broke a smile. Reading some other posts of why women aren’t attracted to men, a lot of women are intimidated if the guy doesn’t smile. It gives off the impression that you are cold, aloof, mean or just plain bored. Women don’t want to be around a guy that is like that. They don’t care if you are working on your “Blue Steel” look or not – girls want someone that will smile at them and be a generally happy guy.

Some of these women say that they will not approach a man if he doesn’t smile. Now some guys don’t like to smile. They want to have the tough exterior, and that is that. Unfortunately in today’s climate, that can be viewed as “Toxic Masculinity” and even if you aren’t a toxic male, your face might be giving off the wrong idea.

Photo by mentatdgt on

You might ask, “But wait, I don’t want anyone to think I am weak or a pushover.” Not everyone that smiles is weak or a pushover – take a look at Sean Connery (God rest his soul). He was not a pushover or weak, he smiled and in 1989 he was voted People Magazine’s “sexiest man alive.” See what happens when you smile.

So next time when you go out there, smile a little, make that eye contact and start becoming a man that people want to be around.

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