Complacency seems to seep in like water in an old wooden boat. We can become complacent, especially when things are going well. We don’t want to upset the apple cart as it were, but what does that complacency tell those around us? Does that complacency damage us? Can complacency be overturned?
This blog is not only to give hints and ideas on how to be congenial, but also on how I can be more congenial. This is a growing experience – and I grow from each post.
I was recently talking to my youngest son, and we talked about being intentional. It also took me back to when I was in college back in Seattle in the late 80’s. It was about making an intention statement and that we needed to intend instead of just saying we will try, because trying accepts failure and defeat.
I have been caught in complacency many times in my life. There have been many jobs where it became comfortable, and I started to laze around and become complacent – then my complacency turned into boredom and then to dislike. The spark of newness has tarnished and become dull, and I wanted to move onto something brighter and better.
I think that complacency can occur in life too. We start out wanting to take over the world. We have our whole lives in front of us, and a whole wide world of opportunity, only to have that dream get dented, rusted and tarnished, so that by the time we hit middle age; that bright shiny dream is dull and collecting dust in the corner of our brains and we are embarrassed by it.
It is difficult to revive those old dreams and so we just let it sit there and collect dust, because we don’t want to fall for that same old pitch of, “Don’t give up on your dreams, you can do it.”
Unfortunately, sometimes we get complacent in our relationships too. We have strong feelings for another person, and after time it becomes easy. We begin to laze around and duty takes over and feelings end up in the corner. We busy ourselves with tasks and events, we strive to occupy our time and our field of vision – to such a state that we forget those original feelings we had for that other person.
I have become complacent in my marriage, I have let a lot of things slide and I have let my love get crowded out by tasks and chores and busyness. I have to become more intentional about my marriage and remember why I fell in love, and remember that the woman that I fell in love with – who bore our children is still the same beautiful woman that I remember from my youth.
I told my youngest son that I would do more than make a public declaration of my love for my wife, but I would also make a private declaration to her as well. I need to get that dream of love out of the corner of my mind, polish it, make it sparkle and put it as a centerpiece in my mind and my life.