Considering another is one way to show another person love, kindness and generosity but considering others is a difficult and seemingly unnatural action for a human to undertake. Just to be clear – self care is fine and necessary: this is not self centered. Self centered is where you don’t consider the other person. This gives off the impression that you are stingy, mean and that you do not love. If you want to give the impression that you are kind and congenial – consider those around you.
I was raised to open doors for women. I really was never told why, but my dad or mom would tell me, “Go hold the door for that woman.” I would do it and get a, “Thank you, dear.” But I was not told why I needed to do it. That being said, I still hold the door – however, not only for women, but men and children too. Why?
A couple of years ago I held the door for a woman, and she bit my head off – not literally – and told me that she was more than capable of opening the door for herself and she did not need any false show of chivalry. I was quite taken aback – not only did I not know the compulsion behind opening a door, but now I was being verbally smacked about the head and shoulders.
Opening a door is not the pinnacle of consideration of others, letting someone else go first and yielding to them – not rushing in to get the prime spot – is consideration
The other day, I was making crunch wraps for my granddaughters, my youngest daughter, and my son in law; plus my wife said she and our oldest daughter would be home for lunch. I went to the store and purchased the ingredients for this lunch and came home and started making it. I was busy making the food, when my wife said she would be home an hour after lunch was served.
I made the crunch wraps for the people that were there for lunch, but not my wife and my oldest daughter. We ate and all the food was used up. I didn’t think anything of it. They came home and asked where their lunch was: My heart stopped. I was not considerate of my wife or my oldest daughter.
In this instance, I should have purchased more ingredients to make the lunch for everyone, and because I ran out of the ingredients I could have either called my wife or gone to the store and purchased more ingredients. But since I did neither one, my wife walked in the door, expecting to be fed lunch – There was no lunch to feed her.
We need to make consideration a lifestyle. Not just opening doors, but in all aspects of our lives. When we consider others, they feel like they matter, but when we don’t consider others or make consideration a lifestyle – the people around us have the point of view that they aren’t cared for or loved.