“Hey, white liar, the truth comes a little at a time.” That song White Liar from Miranda Lambert’s album, Revolution, released in 2009 is a song about someone that is cheating on her and then lies about it. However there are more facets to being dishonest then just plain lying.
First the lie – all lies are lies and we lie all the time. There are socal lies, “I’m great, how are you?” There are lies to protect someone else’s feelings, “No, that meatloaf tastes great.” There are the lies that try to protect ourselves, “I didn’t have sexual relations with that woman…” The fact is lying is the cowards way out. You say what you say, because you are afraid of hurting someone’s feelings or the backlash. This is one of my faults as well – and when you lie, you only destroy the trust in the relationship.
However, dishonesty is not just being a liar. Being dishonest is also about not being trustworthy. If a friend tells you – in confidence – about a situation where they were feeling vulnerable, and you, in turn, tell someone else – you have broken their confidence – that is toxic. If someone does something incredibly stupid and makes a fool out of themselves and you laugh about it behind their back: You are being dishonest – that is toxic. The best way to think about dishonest people is that they don’t care for anyone’s feelings except for their own.
So when you catch yourself being dishonest to someone, admit it right away. Let them know why you were dishonest and make an intention statement to not be dishonest anymore.
Check out my full article at: https://thecongenialmale.com/2021/01/20/toxicity/