Value deprivation

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on

This one also falls under guilt but -more importantly – it is also manipulation. If you are forcing someone to engage in an activity that they don’t feel adds value to their life, but you are wanting them to do it anyway, “so we can spend time together.” That is value deprivation. A good example of this is forcing people to do an activity with you, that only you like, but if they don’t do it, you sulk around and make everyone’s life miserable. This person will go after the emotional, conversational, and mental freedom until the other person has nothing left.

When I was a kid, I heard all the time, “Well, I guess you just don’t want to be part of the family.” That was always a trigger for me when I was younger, but it was just straight up manipulation. You might get what you want, but the other person’s not free to do what they want. 

If people don’t want to do what you want, you need to respect them for their feelings and give them their space. If they don’t want to go to the bar with you, then they don’t have to.

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