On one of the blogs I follow – Extra Life at extralifereviews.com – was reviewing a movie called the Promising Young Woman. I encourage you to read this blog, but one thing that stuck with me was that a woman was raped by a “Nice Guy.” Basically a guy that appears nice on the outside and is a misogynist on the inside. These “Nice Guys” target drunk women in the bar, take them home and rape them. This actually turns my stomach, because I know that in this case – life imitates art. But, this got me thinking – is who we are on the outside a true representation of who we are on the inside, or are we just “Nice Guys?”
I will have to admit, more times than not, I wear a veneer over my true nature. I don’t want people to see my anger, my selfishness, my depression and my other not so pretty parts. I hide them away behind my facade and walk out of my door – seemingly friendly and confident.
I represent my name, my birth sign (no I am not into astrology), my Chinese zodiac (still not into astrology) and my Indigenous People’s zodiac (Nope, still not). So let me explain: My name is Thomas, which means twin – I have another side of me that mirrors the one that is seen, but is secretive. I was born in November, which makes me a Scorpio (Western) and a Snake (Indigenous People) – which is secretive, impulsive and spiritual. Then the Chinese zodiac has me as an Earth Monkey – I am irritable, impetuous and easily frustrated. Yes I know I am focusing on the negative, but that is kinda what this blog is about: Seeing behind the curtain.
But what does that serve us – to let people see our vulnerabilities? If we can manage to let down our guard, can it actually strengthen relationships that we are in? This can be a terrifying place, because our walls we construct are put there to protect ourselves. But what are we protecting ourselves from? I have been secretive, impulsive, irritable and impetuous, that seems to be my nature. So what does that mean to those around me? Do I just say, “prend moi tel que je suis.” and let the world be damned? I don’t think so.
I have to – nay, I am working on exposing my nature – but as I said before, this is terrifying. My wife knows I am secretive, and giving up my secrets has been hard. My impulsive and impetuous nature is something my wife has dedicated most of our married lives to correct, and even though it must be a tiring endeavor, she has stayed the course.
We need to do a personal inventory of what we are, who we are and what we need to change, so we can grow into the person that people want to be around. We need to take off the “window dressing” as it were, and show people who we really are, so we can change our nature. We need to align ourselves with people that care enough about us to work on our faults and bring us to be people that rise above our birthright. So what do you hide? What attributes do you have that are behind the curtain?